Loved this movie. Loved. had never seen but there was a trailer for it on an old VHS I had, I don’t remember which one, and I love Michelle Pfeiffer and Harrison Ford is fine so I always wanted to see it. Well, cut to 20 years later and here we are baby!!
The film is about Claire and Norman Spencer (a Norman Bates foreshadow???) who are living in his dead father’s house that they renovated either deep in the country or just regular Vermont, it’s hard to say. He is an academic and she, despite being a Juilliard trained and Carnegie Hall performed cellist has given it all up. She has a daughter Caitlin that when the movie begins we are dropping off at college. (Go Caitlin!)
Ok so from the jump I didn’t really like Norman because Claire starts to be suspicious that their next door neighbor killed his wife and he never validates or comforts those worries, he just is dismissive and/or angry about it. I thought this gaslighting was just par for the course because it was 2000 and as a society we didn’t have the collective knowledge that that was bad yet (right?) but come to find out it was a red flag all along!!!
I never know if in these I’m supposed to go in a certain order but it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want so I’m just going to start at the end and work backwards because that’s what’s most interesting to me. So, spoiler alert: Harrison Ford is the killer, he killed someone else and then he tries to kill Michelle Pfeiffer and then the GHOST/REANIMATED BONES of the first lady get revenge/save Michelle!!!
I guess I do have to go over some background so you understand what I’m talking about- Michelle starts to hear and see things in the house and thinks the guy next door murdered his wife and it’s her ghost but he didn’t, he’s just mildly abusive (?? they were like-she’s not dead, it’s fine!) but the stuff keeps happening, then she starts to uncover stuff about this other woman (Madison Elizabeth Frank played by Amber Valletta) who disappeared who looks a lot like Michelle. As it turns out, Madison and Norman had an affair and he murdered her when she threatened to tell his wife/job. At one point he’s giving this speech where he’s like, “What was I supposed to do? She was going to ruin our marriage, my work” and it’s like- you accept the consequences for the thing you did?? Idk, not murder someone?? Insane.
My favorite part about the movie is that it’s not a horror of jump scares and CGI (although some of that’s in here-a little something for everyone!), the horror is the idea that you can never really know another person. Cause they’ve been married for a long time now and she uncovers this and he turns on her. That’s so scary! Once she figures it out-which comes after a weird séance/sex scene?-he tries to kill her and they both fall into the lake in their car right by where he drowned the first woman in her car. We SEE her down there, then an oar from the boat that’s hitched to the back of their car gets free, smashes the windshield and releases her corpse (yes) and then a lock of her hair + anger reanimates her and she grabs Norman’s arm so he drowns and Michelle can get free.
Some frustrating stuff: when Claire/Michelle is down there and the car is filling with water she asks Norman to take care of her daughter?? You’re both in the car filling with water- why are you assuming he’ll live? Believe in yourself! Also, he just tried to murder you–he’s not a good guy? It’s so insane the lengths we go to excuse things. Some people are just bad. Only white people though 🙂
I think I’m just proud that I spotted the turn-there was a scene in the beginning where he wanted to have sex and Michelle was like, “She’s awake!” about their daughter and he was like, “When does she get out of here again?” and I thought that was bad and it’s nice to know that everyone I don’t like will turn out to be a murderer.
Also this movie painted all men in academia as violent assholes and that’s really funny to me. Obviously #NotAllMaleAcademics but there’s definitely jerks in there empowered by their own ego and resources to a dangerous degree. Times Up you smart freaks!!
I just looked and saw this movie is on Hulu! So you can watch it if you want.
I loved Claire’s friend Jody who sees a psychic, brought her a healing tea, and gave her a book on Witchcraft but draws the line at seancé which she makes fun of. Do you masturbat* with crystals or not Jody?? You’re sending mixed messages.
I guess ultimately this movie was about how if you have ugly jewelry your spirit can never rest. There was some kind of b-plot about simply the UGLIEST necklace-Madison had it, then Claire found it and put it on, and somehow she got power through the necklace? I didn’t follow that but it was really ugly, like a metal lily that looked like it was made on a union dock.
I thought the kill scene at the end was really interesting, in a trip to Harrison’s office prior we see people doing experiments on mice with an inhalant chemical that paralyzes them while they’re conscious for up to five minutes. Later, Harrison drugs Michelle with this and put her in the bathtub as it slowly fills with water while he makes a terrifyingly calm call to her friend and leaves a message explaining that they had a fight and he’s worried but will check on her in the morning.
The idea of drowning to death while conscious in a bathtub at the hand of a man who will gain custody of your child upon your death is…one of the worst things I can imagine. But Cailtin is fine! I think it would have been funny if they had just cut once to Caitlin at college watching Fight Club and eating a piece of pizza while her dad murders her mom. It’s 8:00pm, do you know where your homicidal parents are??
There is a dog in this, Cooper, and aside from one growl indicating a sinister presence in the lake he does nothing to help anyone the entire movie. He doesn’t even try but get hurt and disposed in the process, he’s just, not around. A dog has a very clear role in a horror movie and if he can’t even do that, why is he here?
Um, some interesting things: the wife she thought got murdered next door is Eowyn in Lord of the Rings, Michelle Pfeiffer doesn’t really wear any bright colors the whole movie just creams and light blues and grays, until she’s possessed by a ghost and tries to f*ck him to get to the truth (?) and she wears a red dress. This is an aside but Michelle Pfeiffer is so pretty and I really like her as an actress. One Fine Day?? Batman Returns? Scarface? Stardust?? They’re all classics and no one disagrees!!
I just learned that Robert Zemekis shot this while Cast Away was on break waiting for Tom Hanks to lose weight/grow a beard and that feels really nice. I’m glad this experience is tied to Tom Hanks in some way. I also liked that Harrison Ford had abs in this but they felt casual. You could only see them if he was in crunch position and they weren’t really the focus of the film. I wish more actors had chill bodies. Is this okay to say? Probably not. Cancel me!!!
Overall: loved Michelle, the real horror in the world is the domestic lives of women, necklaces can be incredibly ugly, maybe one day a stray boat oar will save your life.
This is one of those reviews where I don’t feel like I said that much but there’s a lot of writing so I’m just going to wrap it up. Hope you liked it!
4/5 obituaries printed on the back of a portrait, will masturbat* again!!
