The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time (2024)

21. The Taylor Lautner

Why it's important: You won't need your 3D glasses for this one. Taylor's shark boy sets the precedent of what it really means to be a toned and defined bulge in Hollywood. Although this bulge is on the perky side, it lacks girth circumference that makes for a five-Hamm bulge.

20. The Darren Criss

Why it's important: Although we have no doubt this gleeful bulge has the potential to make you feel like you're living a teenage dream, it has room for growing in those spacious sweatpants.

19. The Zac Efron

Why it's important: Although a little underwhelming and disappointing in outline and stature, Efron's bulge is a nice accent to the rest of his body. Dave Franco can't even resist taking a peek at this one.

Why it's important: The most underrated fourth member of the Jonas Brothers is also arguably the most talented member of the late band. Despite this Jonas bulge's appealing onstage presence, Hamm is packing nearly double of this brother.

Why it's important: I mean, there are bigger bulges on the list, but IT'S A ROYAL BULGE. LOOK AT THAT CHARMING PRINCE BULGE.

Why it's important: This bulge didn't fully blossom until it split off from boy band Menudo back in the late '80s. The charisma this bulge has developed over a long career is unbeatable... Well, maybe a little beatable. Livin' la vida loca in the presence of this bulge!

Why it's important: If the webs that shoot from these fingertips can save lives, imagine what the webs from this super bulge could do! Peter, park in here, please.

Why it's important: You don't get your own underwear line with a mediocre bulge. This bulge has nice curves and fills out any underwear properly. You know what they say: "Bulge like Beckham!"

Why it's important: We're just gonna go ahead and say this bulge could probably save someone's life with a little mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Who would want to live a day after tomorrow without it?

Why it's important: Don't blame the sight of this bulge on the alcohol, IT'S REAL LIFE, PEOPLE. Unchained or tucked away under clothes, this is one beautiful bulge.

Why it's important: I mean, it's attached to Ryan Gosling.

Why it's important: This supernatural bulge put its head on the line to represent bulges on television during a time when bulges were highly underrepresented. With the help of a tight wardrobe, Ackles proved you can be packing despite working on a show called Smallville.

Why it's important: From sporting workout attire to designer clothes, The Lulge will be sure to make itself present no matter the apparel. This is one bulge that truly keeps on giving around the c(l)ock.

Why it's important: Michael's fasshionable meat locker is easily the best-dressed bulge out there. This is one bad bulge you wouldn't be afraid take to home to meet the parents.

Why it's important: The thought of playing with soccer balls was far less appealing before Ronaldo's bulge first came onto the field and into our hearts.

Why it's important: DO YOU SEE THAT?! HAROLD, DO YOU SEE THAT BULGE?! Who wouldn't want to Trek into the darkness with this bulge?

Why it's important: This active bulge is threouxghly the most enjoyable bulge to watch. Once set in motion, its girth and shock factor make for an unforgettable and hypnotizing sway as it slaps against the surrounding thighs.

Why it's important: You would think the pressures of being the hottest bulge in Hollywood would be too much to handle, but not for Marky's Mark! This perfectly symmetrical bulge stands erected next to Hamm's as the most important bulge of all time. If you've got it, flaunt it.

Bulgography: Jon Hamm has courageously outlined a way for all other bulges to finally get the attention they deserve. This post would not have been possible without this draping masterpiece and its total disregard for underwear.